Hello, everyone!

Soooo I am back with a little bit of a concern (really, though, when am I not concerned about something?).

The reason I have this blog is because I want people to draw closer to Jesus. I also want others to see my life as I try to live it as Christ is calling me to live it. To look beyond the “Christian” title and dig deep into what that means and how people my age and beyond can live it. I also want to share the real struggles that I face as a Christian.

So I’m caught in a tough place. I don’t want this to be a diary; I don’t want to expose details of my day that could bore you to death. I don’t want to be too open or post details about my issues just for the sake of blabbering about myself. So what do I do? I don’t want to focus on me, and yet I want to share my stories as I walk with Christ. So what should I do, dear readers? How do I balance a lifestyle/faith-based blog?

When it comes to posts about issues and lessons I can be as vague and yet as precise as I can. If you want to know about specifics we can privately talk about it via some way or other.

When it comes to lifestyle posts, well I can be as colorful as I think I should be.

So let’s give this a try, shall we?

I had a spark ignite in my brain yesterday when I was driving home. I was listening to a sermon that was more or less about what it means to own your faith. The main thing I got from it was this: No matter what may be going on with people around me, no matter what problems I see or problems I am dealing with, I always need to a.) Trust God and b.) Serve others.

Alright, alright that may sound superficial because as a Christian we all kind of hear those things, right? Almost as much as we hear “love your neighbor as yourself.”

But what does that all mean?

How do I own my faith? What is trust in God? What is serving others?

I’ll tell you what it is for me, and what I think it is for anyone claiming the Christian faith.

As the speaker put it, owning your faith involves perspective, participation, presence, perseverance, and power.

So then it hit me: At least in part, the recent bitterness I’ve been feeling is because of me — my unbelief in God’s character and promises. My perspective is way out of whack. I am too busy looking at other people and letting their personalities or whatever it may be getting under my skin, that I forget the power God has to make what seems impossible possible.

I have to get on my knees in prayer and trust Him.

Instead of focusing on the ugly characteristics of others, I have to participate in serving them. Instead of avoiding places I don’t want to be because I don’t get anything out of being there or can’t bear the emotions I may face, I have to be there and be present because I’m letting God lead. Instead of coming up with excuses for still participating in sin, I have to be persistent in my faith by never letting go of God and remembering He calls me out of darkness. And above all, instead of relying on myself

I have to rely on God’s power.

I can’t do any of this on my own.

That’s it.

I (and all of us in the Christian faith) must choose what’s right to glorify God. How can we call ourselves Christians if we aren’t doing that? We must probe into God’s thoughts because His thoughts are not our thoughts — they’re greater and better and go deeper than we could imagine in our feeble human minds.

And we have to serve other people, even if we don’t see ourselves benefitting in any way.

All of these things require sacrifice. The only way to truly serve God and serve others is by sacrifice.

Sin is truly an ugly thing. I can let it keep me down, or I can look up and trust in He who is greater than I.

He has to transform His believers from the inside out, and we all have to be serious about that.

What’s the bigger picture? How serious am I in serving God? How serious are you?

Fridays are funny for me. Here’s why: I have the day off.  So I told myself Fridays would be my blog days. Yet here it is almost 3 p.m. on a Friday and I’m barely starting…go figure :p

Anyway, all humor aside, I feel today’s post is going to be quite a hefty one, and aimed more towards my fellow believers in Christ. But even if that isn’t you, I still encourage you to read. My hope is that you all will learn a little bit more about Jesus, and a little more about me. I also hope we can still connect somehow.

Here goes. So last Friday I received a text quoting 2 Chronicles 7:14, which reads: If My people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and  turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land (New King James Version). (All texts I use from here on out will be from NKJV unless otherwise noted).

I wondered why this particular text was sent, and wondered how the person who sent it to me views this text. I also wanted to ask how one defines ‘wicked ways’. What is wickedness? How do we turn away from it? Is there a method? a standard? And God says here that if His people do these things ( humble themselves, pray, seek His face, turn from wicked ways) then He will forgive their sin.

That sounds like a condition. God’s forgiveness requires something from us.

And if God requires certain things from His people, how, then, do I meet those requirements? And are their consequences for not meeting them?

1 John 2:6 says “He who abides in Him ought Himself also to walk just as He walked.” After reading that text aloud, I asked a few people what it means to abide in Christ and “walk just as He walked.” They said abiding and walking as He walked means to be obedient.

Obedient to what?

Leviticus 18:5 reads “You shall therefore keep My statutes and My judgments, which if a man does, he shall live by them: I am the Lord.”

One meaning of abiding in Christ is to obey God’s commands. Which ones? All? Some?

Weren’t some commandments done away with?

I am not going to talk about which commandments were done away with exactly, but a main thing I have to cover is that God’s law, His holy law, His holy ten commandments, is His character. Why else would His law and statutes come up so frequently throughout the Bible, Old Testament and New? And if they are His character written down — and God is unchanging — then His law is unchanging, right?

Okay, now that I’ve come to that conclusion, I’ll transition to this thought: Ecclesiastes 12:14. Fear (this isn’t to be afraid of, but rather to revere) God and keep His commandments…for God will bring every work into judgment…”

How does this apply to me, a Christian? What commandments do I keep? And what works of mine will be judged?

How shall a man be just with God? How can a sinner be made righteous?

Galatians 5:19-21 lists behaviors God’s people should avoid ( sex outside marriage, jealousy, hatred, drunkenness, just to name a few). Of course, we cannot in and of ourselves and of our own will power keep from doing these things. It is only by God’s grace, Spirit, and power working in us. It is only through Christ.

Here’s a quote from a book called Steps to Christ:

“Christ is the source of every right impulse. He is the only one that can implant in the heart enmity against sin. Every desire for truth and purity, every conviction of our own sinfulness, is an evidence that His Spirit is moving upon our hearts.”

1 John 1:9 says if we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive us. Luke 13:3 says unless we repent, we will all perish. Repentance is a condition we must do to receive forgiveness. Repentance also doesn’t just mean to confess the sin, but also to turn away from that sin.

Instruction is a lamp, a light, and the way of life (Proverbs 6:23). Instruction is important. God’s instruction is important. Whatever He says in His word directed to His people are important. Proverbs 4:13.

By not ignoring truth and conviction and by heeding to instruction is how to keep my conscience from being “seared with a hot iron” (1 Tim. 4:2).

“Repentance includes sorrow for sin and turning away from it. Until we turn away from [sin] in heart, there will be no real change in the life.” Steps to Christ, 23

That’s powerful.

All compromise with sin must be put to an end. I’m speaking to myself here, too. I don’t want this new year to be the same as years before, to keep putting off what I know I need to give up. Lately jealousy has been eating me up inside, and I know I need give that burden to Christ, because His promises are unwavering.

I believe in standing up for what you believe in.

In my case, it’s my faith.

The other day I went door-knocking to pass out literature. You know, that thing I mentioned in this post ?

So while I was walking house to house I thought to myself, What would I do if the next person who opens the door starts yelling, cursing, or threatening me? What if they attacked my beliefs and demanded answers?

I kept telling myself to be bold. Just trust in God. To a certain extent, that’s all I can do. However, there is a responsibility I must play. In order to be bold in my beliefs, I have to know what they are and why I hold them, right?

Now I know I won’t have the answers to everything, and that scares me. Especially when there are so many smarter people out there who can tear me to pieces with their theories. I’m not one to boast in my smartness (or lack-thereof) but there are a lot of things I should be able to answer.

Which leads me to my next thing.

There are certain “holidays” my husband and I have decided not to really acknowledge or celebrate. But since most people celebrate these holidays, people ask if we have plans for them. And of course when we respond, the follow-up question arises: Why not?

I’ve learned it makes conversations easier when I have a solid answer. Why do something if you don’t really know the reason why?

Even still, one response we got was “That’ll change when you have kids.”

That made we wonder. Will it? How bold will I be once we have children? Will my principles go out the window?

I want to say that it wouldn’t, but I really don’t know; I’m not a parent.

I want boldness to define who I am, to define my children, should we have any.

There’s more I can say about this, I’m sure. There are many reasons for boldness.

But is there ever a time when one can be too bold and cross the line?

Would the bolder thing to do be to step down gracefully, or to keep going without end, and even stronger?

Until next post (which will probably be about parenthood again, lol)

em

I know you’ve probably heard this before, or have even said it yourself:

I care too much.

I care too much about someone, I care too much about my job, I care too much about fitting the exact label and exact standard I’ve set for myself…

Is it possible to care too much?

I think I do, and am wondering if the things I care about are even worth all the stress.

Suitcases on the bed, chemicals in the house, plastic in the microwave, genetically modified fruit in the fridge, cat litter on the carpet…

I put so much emphasis on things I drive myself, and others around me, a little bit crazy.

I care about people, animals, the environment.

I want to end food waste because people are starving in my own neighborhood.

I want to stop buying clothes from Forever 21 because the people making the clothes in Bangladesh are dying in collapsing buildings and getting paid crap.

I want to buy only organic cotton and use reusable everything because I want to eliminate my exposure to toxins and limit my output of waste I dump into landfills.

I want to renounce all things in my diet that are from animal sources because I spend hours at the animal shelter every week. (I’m a vegetarian who is mostly plant based, but I do dabble with dairy every now and again.)

I want to do everything and make the best choices and be the best person and do the best things… and it gets a little mentally exhausting.

A small, teeny, tiny part of me thinks: Why care so much? Are you really going to change the world by the choices you make?

People are still going to be greedy, the planet is still going to deteriorate, people are still going to mistreat animals and eat meat…

But is that really the way to think? Do my small choices really not matter?

I can’t see myself ceasing to care about these things. I’m too invested, and know a little too much to just throw my hands up and feign ignorance.

But how do I keep myself from crying over it all, from getting too upset about so many things that need changing? 

How do I find that balance? How do I care without caring too much?

I really don’t think there is such a thing.

(To be continued in what might be a Girl Afraid Part 2.)