If there is one thing I would give up in a heartbeat, it’s jealousy. It completely ruins everything. Ugh.
I’m sure you’ve had your own experiences with it…
You know, like that time she showed up with the guy she stole from you (who, by the way, she actually introduced to you in the first place.)
Or the time you caught him MySpace flirting with other girls when you thought you were the only one he was dating.
Ha ha, okay, okay before you start laughing at me I realize that maybe those experiences are totally high school, but jealousy can still happen in even more mature circles, right? I don’t know, though, can jealousy and maturity go together? I know I feel completely immature when I feel jealous.
But jealousy goes beyond the dating realm, of course. It can extend to other relationships and to almost everything else.
Why is she so much smarter than me?
Why does he get everything he wants with such ease?
Why is she so inexplicably charming and good at everything?
For me, jealousy and rejection go together. If I’m not the better choice, I’m losing my grip. If I’m not the one people are jealous over, I’m not succeeding.
How incredibly terrible is that way of thinking?
Why is that jealous urge always there lurking in the murky waters of my soul?
Is it lack of self-worth?
Is it lack of confidence?
I don’t know if it can be chocked up to any few terms, but I do believe jealousy is a part of my inner demon that needs to be SLAIN. SLAIN I SAY.
I become a total irrational, irate, unjustified mean girl when jealousy takes over.
And what am I going to do later on when events out of my control take place that I already know have the potential to flare up my jealousy?
Am I going to give in, or move beyond it?
Only time will tell, and I can only pray to God to release me from this prison. It’s completely and utterly miserable up in here.
Titus 3 says the mercy, kindness, and love of God is what enables us to do good things. Am I allowing those good traits to manifest in my life, or am I choosing to hold onto my bad ones? Am I giving all my struggles to the only one who can relieve them, or am I trusting in myself?
I’ve heard people say *YOU* are the only thing you can trust in this world. I’m here to say otherwise. If I trusted in myself, I would not be in a good place right now.
I really want to know, though: How have you handled jealousy?