So as a recently engaged and recently turned 25 year old, I find it only natural to get all giddy when I see young engaged/married couples walking around, at Disneyland, at the dress shop, etc.
But then my mind starts to wander… and wonder…
How many of these engaged couples are waiting until marriage to…you know? Do they live together? If they are already intimate or already live together, is getting married as exciting for them as it is for me?
I’m sure it is.
But of course the cynical and jaded me already thinks she knows the answer to the intimacy question:
DUH. OF COURSE THEY ARE INTIMATE.
Why wouldn’t they be?! And who isn’t these days?!
And WHY do I care?
What makes me so cynical? It’s funny…years ago I totally would not have had these thoughts or concerns about other people. I didn’t care. Why do I care now?
Maybe it’s because I see relationships differently now. Maybe it’s because for so long I accepted and thrived off of polyamory and now I feel the complete opposite.
I feel the opposite because, well…
1. I found the person whom I love and will love to the ends of the earth…who I would never in my wildest dreams want to hurt or live without.
I never felt this way about anyone.
2. I actually learned a thing or two about the principles of marriage, from a source that isn’t Hollywood or whatever is on t.v. or bookshelves these days…
Okay, well it IS a book, but it’s been around for centuries 😉
It’s funny… my senior year of high school my English teacher had us pull pieces of paper out of a bucket that read different questions we had to answer.
Mine was: “What’s your biggest fear?”
I didn’t have to think twice about it: Infidelity.
WHOA,WHOA. HOLD THE PHONE. How can you care about infidelity at 17?
Well, because I wasn’t faithful. I never was. Yeah, even at that age and every year after, I strayed time and time again. Not proud of it.
I guess the chorus to “Back In Your Head” would most def not apply to me >.<
And I wish I could take back all the mistakes I made with people in the past.
But I can’t. All I can do now is move forward and make darn sure I do everything I can to be the best wife I can be to my husband. I want to give him all of me. No, I can’t take back or change anything I did, but I can be sure to do my best to be the best.
I once heard a speaker say: ” If you want to find the best person, you have to be the best person.”
That’s a goal worth striving for. And yeah, to me that means waiting until marriage to be intimate *GASP*, amongst other things of course.
And yes, even with my soon-to-be husband. I could only see good things coming out of this decision.
After all, is it really so, really so strange?