I know, the title is a little morbid. But honestly, it’s appropriate.
I recently did a vlog post about affliction and how I hate the idea of having to go through trials.
In the vlog I talk about how I don’t even like to set up mouse traps or kill ants because the idea of death makes me sad.
Just yesterday I saw a few stray dogs wandering by a busy street, and I thought, “Oh please don’t let them get hit…”
And I couldn’t really focus on much after that because I was fixated on the idea of them being roadkill and having to see their dead bodies.
I DON’T WANT TO SEE DEAD DOGS.
Since we had to drive down the same street to go back home, I kept my eyes closed and my face covered until we reached our house.
A few months ago I saw a dog get hit. Not long before that we ran over a squirrel.
I did NOT need to see this happen again!!!
Honesty, I don’t think I could be in the medical field or part of our military.
I’d lose my mind.
But maybe that’s what I need in order to toughen up, eh? Get thicker skin.
My skin is as thin as rice paper.
Thinking about death not only makes me sad, it makes me angry.
It makes me angry because death, sickness, heartache, pain…are all a result sin.
I saw someone wearing something the other day that said: “Sinners are Winners.”
If only he knew the weight of that statement…
Sinners are winners? Really?
I would have never chosen to be part of this dark world. Yet here I am. And I have to find light and joy and hope even amidst it all.
I would never dare say sinners are winners because every single awful thing on this planet is a result of sin.
And that doesn’t sound like winning to me.
As hard as it is for me to hear about/experience affliction, turmoil, tragedies (aka results of sin), God’s promises are there for the clinging. I know I can pray and cry and pray some more…
And trust that I’ll find peace and assurance.