I’m sick of death, I’m sick of loss, I’m sick of grief. I’m sick of hurt and disappointment. I’m sick of it all.
Today I awoke with grief in my heart.
The kind of grief that makes me want to stay asleep. The kind of grief that has me waking up in tears, waking up with a heavy heart and little hope.
The kind of grief that is difficult to explain simply because I feel this grief over other people’s circumstances. I feel their heartache, I feel their sadness, I feel their loss. It’s like for a moment, I’m tied to their soul.
Except it lasts for more than a moment. It lasts hours, even days.
The lights aren’t as bright, the noises are muffled. Joy is removed because I feel it has to be— Who am I to be happy when they’re dealing with this grief? It seems unfair, and I want to carry their load on my shoulders and save the world, to fix their problems, to heal their hearts.
Except, I can’t.
I can’t save the world. And I’m left feeling completely helpless.
How can I remove this lasting grief and instead bring hope and relief?
And also, how do I deal with not being able to be a superhero?
I just want light in this world of darkness. I want people to feel hope and feel alive, living abundantly. I’d want that for me too.
And I am anxious for the day when death and the grave will be vanquished forever, so no one has to feel any pain anymore.
Let’s all try to shed a little light today, even amidst our grief.