Use Somebody

What to do when people use you.

Hiiiii, guys 😀 I’m especially chipper today, probably because I was finally able to exercise after being sick for a week. Buuuuut that’s not the point of this post.

The point is, dear friends, that last post I had said I was probably going to write about something that recently happened to me. Well, I had a dream about it last night so I took that as a prompt to go ahead and write. Now, I’m not going to focus on the details of the actual events, but rather how I dealt (and am still dealing) with it.

This post has a lot to do with last post because it puts the idea of meekness into practice. Before I go there, I want to address something.

I was never really the one to go out of my way to help someone who was not a family member. If it inconvenienced me in anyway, I usually said no. That’s just how I started thinking over time—if I have to make any kind of sacrifice, I’m not doing it.

 

It’s not easy, but I have been learning to be more selfless, to focus on others more than on myself, to make sacrifices, to stop complaining, and to be kinder.

Last year sometime someone had asked a pretty big favor of me. Right off the bat, I wanted to say no. Most people would say no. I struggled for a week trying to decide the best thing to do, because I honestly wanted to help this person. I also did not want to enable them. You see, this person had been making some really bad decisions. It’s safe to say they abused trust and took advantage of kindness. I prayed, sought advice, and prayed some more. Thankfully, I didn’t do what the person had asked and dodged some major potential bullets.

Recently, another similar ordeal took place. My husband and I had been communicating with some people we just met. Their situation sounded desperate, so we helped the best we could. Then the favors became bigger. We tried to figure out the best solutions for them, but none of the things we tried seemed to be to their liking. Then they dropped out of the picture and stopped communicating with us completely. It was like they put on this front just to see what they could get from us. Long story short, they abused our trust and took advantage of our kindness, and we felt duped and used.

In both situations, I found myself thinking: How could people use other people like that?!

Normally, I would have been like, “Forget it, I’m never helping anyone ever again!” Actually, I normally wouldn’t have even thought to help them like we did— I would have thought, it’s their problem, not mine.

But I don’t, and I can’t, think like that anymore. The way meekness ties in with this story is that I easily could have flipped my lid and went off on these people. In fact, old me would have. But how did I define meekness last week?

Meekness is doing the right thing, even when you’re wronged. It’s doing something for someone without expecting anything back in return.

That’s how I’m shifting my thinking now.

I can get bitter and entirely heated up about what they did, but instead, I’m still going to wish them well, I’m still going to pray for them, and I’m still going to give meekness my best shot.

So, I’ll end my post with a question:

How do you handle people who’ve used or mistreated you?

 

Until next,

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2 thoughts on “Use Somebody”

  1. I, unfortunately, give way too many chances because I believe people can change. I always feel like it only takes an intuitive explanation to help people understand, but sometimes that’s not the case or it doesn’t seem so. I’d like to think that some of the things I say get through, but it’s tough to deal with people who seem to feel entitled. I genuinely want to help these people, especially the people I know and love.

    1. It’s tough, really….trying to decide if there’s ever an end to the chances we give people. Maybe some of the things you say will get through to them, at some point. Entitlement is a tough beast to battle, and sometimes we can’t always help them the way we want to.

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