This is going to be short and (not) sweet. Usually I post things with something encouraging to shine some light amidst the darkness that usually enshrouds my posts.
Geez that sounds like a totally cheesy introduction to an equally cheesy post…
Well, I hope this isn’t cheesy. I hope it’s real. After all, this is really the only place I can be real, write real, talk real. Which is why I LOVE blogging so much. True creative freedom.
Anyhoozle, in a previous post, I said I would refer to myself as Flame Princess whenever I felt this overwhelming urge to be my former, young and restless self.
She’s at it again. All of a sudden I’ll feel like doing all those things I used to do, and be who I used to be. There were things I can’t believe I did and yet still have this desire to do them…
It’s really weird and uncomfortable. Why do I want to still be….bad, to be that free-spirited partying girl I once was?
And these feelings seems to hit me at really odd times. Or maybe they’re not so odd, I don’t know.
I’m lead to wonder how many of my traits I have to suppress and battle. It’s like I have different parts of me that are fighting this war against each other, and fighting to the death. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting.
I often times don’t want to fight these battles.
I said this wouldn’t be encouraging, and it isn’t. This is purely just one of those posts where I need to express those darker moments.
I can’t wait for freedom from all these internal burdens.
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A Heart for Heaven 